Welcome! This blog is a safe space. You can relax.

This is a feminist, sex-positive, pro-sex worker, pro-choice, anti-racist space. ACAB.

This project was a product of me binging SVU during quarantine. I had seen episodes here and there when USA or other networks aired marathons of old episodes. Sometimes in order, sometimes not.  In binging, I’ve noticed a few things.

But let’s start at the beginning…

I started watching at my parents’ house while I, like many other young people, was on furlough from my job, collecting unemployment. I was looking for something new, something I could become obsessed with while I waited to for that phone call that my job could take me back. A job that I was verbally abused and disrespected on a daily basis. A job that made me cry. A job that made me suicidal. But a job I felt I needed in order to survive the pandemic.  They pay me enough. It’s not that difficult. Most of the time I can do everything I need to do that day in the span of 2 hours and then I can fuck off the other 6. It’s easier than starting over. It turns out starting over is a lot easier than staying in a bad situation.  I’m in a better situation now, I got my shitty job back and eventually started job hunting and found a good company with better pay, more in line with what I like, and generally just BETTER. And I moved to South Philly, a neighborhood I’ve wanted to live in for 8 years. So I’m doing okay. But still there’s SVU. I keep coming back. I’ve seen every episode. I still rewatch. I still find new things each time I watch an episode.

I fell in love. With Olivia Benson and her compassion and empathy for victims. With Captain Cragen for his commitment to doing the right thing. With Alex Cabot for how smart she is. With Casey Novak for having a conscience. With Raphael Barba for taking the hard cases head-on. With Dominick Carisi for his growth and empathy. With Fin for his commitment to victims.

Basically, Dick Wolf has a death grip around my neck.

Why Law and Order: SVU?

I grew up and am surrounded by true crime or cop shows and fans of this type of media. It kinda explains a lot about my personality. A fucked-up, dark sense of humor. A fascination with the macabre. Wanting to discuss the taboo. I watched a lot of Cops and America’s Most Wanted with my grandma when I would stay over on Saturday nights. I was fascinated by all the horrible things these people had done. And how the goal was justice for victims. It could happen to any of us. That’s a hard lesson for a kid under 10, but I think it builds character. And empathy. Mom and I would always watch 20/20 on Friday nights. My best friend’s mom is a huge Law and Order fan, she LOVES Jack McCoy. That same best friend read multiple V.C. Andrews novels as a child. A child.

There’s a reason why the Law and Order franchise has had such success. These are salacious, typically ripped-from-the-headlines, crimes and stories. We love it and we can’t get enough. There’s something about humans that when we see something horrible, it’s hard to look away. A car crash. A horrible natural disaster. A crime show where the worst sex crimes you can imagine play out on the screen in front of you. It’s also good background noise and a good comfort show. I would be watching SVU in my parents’ living room and one or both of them would catch enough of an episode to become invested. Invested enough to tell me to be quiet or wait to make a work call before the scene was over. They wanted to know what happened next. Whatever the “in” was for them, they were done. Dick Wolf had them by the balls.

We can learn a lot of lessons from SVU:

Trauma won’t destroy you if you don’t let it. It takes strength to get through it, but it’s possible. It’s okay to ask for help.

The courts can’t always deliver justice. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. It definitely doesn’t mean survivors shouldn’t speak their truth. Silence is not the answer.

Too many cases become political.

The courts are often not kind to victims. A recurring line in SVU sums it up very well (this is a loose quote): “Rape [and/or/sexual assault] is the only crime where the victim is questioned about their behavior. No one asks a robbery victim if they wanted to get robbed.” 

Children often bear the burden of our own mental illnesses and shortcomings as humans. The episodes that involve kids and child abuse are the hardest. Watching shit like that makes me think there should be some kind of test you have to pass in order to be allowed to procreate. But that also sounds like some Handmaids’ Tale shit so we’re not going to do that. I don’t know what the solution is, I just know that kids don’t deserve to be in homes where they are not cared for or loved. Where they’re neglected. That’s not fucking fair. That burden trickles out to the child’s school. Most of the time schools try to do the right thing if something’s wrong. Teachers are mandatory reporters. But all they can really do is report it. If Child Services doesn’t do anything, the abuse will continue. Or it will continue in a foster home. I suppose the takeaway for these shitty moral situations is that women should have the right and access to make a choice if they have an unplanned pregnancy. We’re pro-choice in this house.

SVU is surprisingly ACAB in some situations! The characters we see are mostly good cops. Except Elliott Stabler. Sorry y’all, that man IS police brutality. I understand the simping over Chris Meloni. If he was ugly and had all the shit on his record that he does, y’all would be asking for him to be in prison. I said what I fucking said. Nick Amaro is also really bad about getting rough with suspects. He’s almost as bad as Stabler. Amanda is very “I bleed blue” and I hate it. She’s a dumb bitch for other reasons though, too. I still love her though. Amanda is one of the most complex characters on network television. Olivia does her best to do the right thing and right by the victims. It’s been an honor to watch her grow from a detective to a captain.  I love Dominick “Sonny” Carisi. IDGAF, I simp for that man. Munch is a conspiracy theorist but smart and wise from being a cop for so long. He’s usually a good moral compass. Fin has grown so much and ALWAYS has the squad’s back.  These are the good cops. When the bad ones are shown, they get prison time or die. There’s some kind of justice. This is where the fiction really lies.

Not all cops are as committed and give as much of a fuck as Olivia Benson. When a victim of any gender makes the choice to report sexual assault to the police IRL, they fear that the officer taking their statement might not believe them. The cops might dissuade them from getting a rape kit, limiting prosecution if the victim changes their mind and does want to pursue charges. But a victim also shouldn’t have to feel pressured to get a rape kit. It can be traumatizing on top of the assault itself.  I’m a person who dreads their pap smear every time and puts it off because it hurts and it sucks. To have every inch of you swabbed and poked and prodded after being assaulted? It fucking sucks and it’s a hard situation. It comes back to choice though. I don’t really like how the cops in SVU often do really pressure the victim into getting a rape kit when they’re resistant. It feels shitty even though it comes from a good place. I would rather a victim get as much evidence collected as possible as soon as possible so that they might actually get justice. We can’t let men keep getting away with this shit.

Domestic abuse is one of the harder topics to watch. I have a hard time empathizing with women who stay with abusive men. But I get it, sometimes it’s easier or safer to stay. Realistically, it’s not sustainable especially if there are kids in the home. It’s really easy to look at that situation and say, “what kind of mother would let her kids live in a home like that?” It comes from a place of judgment. Law enforcement unfortunately can sometimes make a domestic abuse situation worse. The amount of women that decide not to press charges after the police are called over a domestic situation, at least in the SVU universe, is out of control. The taking-back is out of fear. That he’ll hit you again, worse than last time.

That’s why SVU. It’s a perfect device for exploring moral and ethical questions and law enforcement’s place in that.

I guess this is what the blog really is. Me, watching SVU, speaking frankly about the subject matter, like your friend telling you about this crazy episode she watched last night. Exploring the moral and ethical questions raised in each episode. What characters can teach us about an issue. What ultimately is justice? But also, we can talk about Mariska’s haircut/fashion and when Amanda is being a dumb bitch and when Elliott deserves to be cancelled.

I want this to be a place for other fans to share their thoughts and feelings on the show. If I missed something, say something! If you have a different take, share it! This should be a fun community too! If anyone even reads this.

That said, if you know me IRL, don’t tell me if you don’t like it. Just don’t say anything at all. My depressed, insecure self cannot handle it. If you do like it, please tell me! Whether we know each other IRL or not!

I decided to finally pull the trigger and publish my work because I’ve been having a hard time lately. Corporate jobs have beaten me down and defeated me. A man in my building has been harassing the women in the building (aka the rest of the tenants) and I’m on edge and angry all the time. So it’s time to channel that anger and rage into something productive. Something that can be a fun place for others or a place of safety and healing for survivors.